CONSUL SIGNS BYLAW TO FORMALLY RECOGNIZE DINING HALL SNICKER-DOODLES AS ACCEPTED FORM OF PAYMENT FOR DUES

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Paddle for rising colony of Alpha Snicker-doodle Omega.

CHAPTER  – President of fraternity signs bylaw into effect which immediately recognizes cookies as the official currency of his chapter. Payment of all dues and fines will be made in these snicker-doodles from now on. 

The change comes after many fratters felt the pastries were a stable and viable way to finance their chapter.

 

Supporters for this change come from members who were upset with the trading of black market paddles and those shitty cupcakes . A few, including those who have not actually payed dues, are confused as to why the treasurer is collecting anything.

“No taxation without representation” cried out one fratter, protesting in front of Wilson. Upset that he would not be allowed at social events for the next month, he would begin the social media trend “#notmytreasurer”.

The dividend of cookies per semester has not yet calculated, but speculators do not think it will be a “dollar for cookie” trade off. Many prices for these cookies fluctuate too quickly, which worries many members of E-Board. So far there have been trades for cookies that include dining hall swipes to housing number swaps. The highest so far was a trade between 3 cookies and a year of work at the fraternity Steward.

Other forms of payment to be written into bylaw may include red velvet ice cream, a “good” Milwaukee’s best, and hours as a DD.

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